When You're Not As Hot As You Think You Are.

Dear Sassy Peanuts Fackelman,

It has come to my attention that you have given me a rating of 7.65 out of 10 on the Scale of Hotness. You weren't grading on a curve, I see. I thought you were too good for that. I mean, I've known you for years, thought you were ok for two of them, and after the sweet, unrequested message you wrote in my 5th-grade yearbook to remember you by, I'd have thought you wouldn't need someone to send you pictures of me to jog your memory of who I was!

Nevertheless, thank you for offending me because it has inspired a new blog post! You see, I'm kind of like the Taylor Swift of the blogging world because I write about my feelings and people who've wronged me. Except unlike her, I name names. I was originally going to write about how to cope with being an ugo, however, it's been a week since this happened, and I am still not over it, so I don't really think that I'd be qualified to advise on the matter. Truthfully, I don't mind being objectified. Catcalls are welcomed and whistles are music to my soul! I love being told how pretty I am, and have NEVER been told that I am just above average! Which led me to think, do others think I'm only a 7.65? Perhaps even lower? I was very concerned which is why I went to a place that never lies, the internet, and took a quiz!

Sassy, are you blind? This is girl is clearly a 9 if you ask me or my mother. My mom has always told me I am beautiful, but now that I've gotten older and outgrown my ugly duckling phase, she has described me at that time as, " Cute as hell, but not gonna lie, you were kinda funky looking." Now, do you see where I get my bluntness and honesty from? Although I know when my ugly duckling phase was, I have to say even then I thought I was a looker. Ratty hair, huge glasses, skin problems, and braces were just some of the charms that came with the total package back in the day. In fact when I was younger if people didn't like me, I just assumed they were jealous of my beauty. Which is probably what I told them with a lisp and a cluster of jacked-up teeth. Thankfully now things have changed for the better! I am currently searching for new looks to try, so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know in the comments section. Just to clarify I don't think the goth look would suit me very well, but other than that it's a free for all!

Before this experience, I thought I had thick skin considering how much my family and friends call me, "A big nerd", but apparently the perception others have of my physical appearance bothered me more than loved ones making fun of my unusual quirks. Such as the excitement I get from being Miss Mellema's personal attendance taker ( I'm not even kidding, I take that job very seriously and when something goes wrong I crack under the pressure and start breathing heavily), or how I had a HUGE crush on Harry Potter and planted one on the wax statue of him at a wax museum. I refused to kiss Ron however because he is a rude little Mr, or how during pre-covid I did knitting club with the old ladies at the library, and water aerobics up at the pool during covid with the old ladies in my neighborhood! I have to say those girls know what's a good time and they give you snacks! They're both fun and superstitious. I went to Bingo every Wednesday when I was nine and they would always have their lucky turtles and whatnot. I wanted to win but I wanted their Whoppers more, so I let them pinch my cheeks we usually gossiped about other ladies in the room. It wasn't subtle either. I've heard my neighbor Joyce yell from another table that she hates poor, white-headed Helen. I don't think it was a problem though Helen's most likely deaf and her hearing aid may not have picked it up. Oh my goodness, and don't get me started on the time they all fought over the bingo room's ball caller for a date! At the time he was a spring chicken of 74, a good time, and he took his ladies out dancing so there was jealously that night when they learned he was dating someone else. It was a woman who lived in Canadaguia, far from the crazy of Gypsum Mills. That's a good thing too because even though nobody had ever met her, it's safe to say they all disliked and resented her.

That is a good opportunity to remember not to hate on other girls... or at least not to people they know. I express my opinions about certain people to my mom because I like to rant about my feelings, and she likes the scoop. It's gotten so bad that when my friends tell me a secret they start it off with, " Julianne, don't tell your mom!" I'm a risky confidant when it comes to that woman, she uses bribery (usually through the form of baked goods) to persuade! I've always known that secrets were not my strong suit, which is why when I was four and there was a secret to be kept, I'd tell whoever was spilling the beans not to tell me. The only problem with that is as I grew older, my nosiness only grew stronger. This caused me to learn the lesson you just need to not tell people of the Victor-Farmington area because if I did tell someone who actually cared about these kids, and it was juicy enough to cause a scandal there would be a trail of calls between moms that lead back to Miss Julianne Wright.

Going on with the topic of not putting down other girls, I feel like people get it twisted that girls look/dress in a way to impress guys. I think they really do that to get the validation that they are pretty from other girls. I don't think anything is wrong with wanting to be accepted, and we should all be kinder towards each other, but the ways some girls go about getting attention is from wearing skimpy clothes. This is both questionable and often the only reason why guys want to go out with them. Do what you want, but when you wear crop tops, shorts that your butt is hanging out of, and jeans that are so tight they look like they may bust off your body, I'm warning your personality won't be the reason a guy turns his head at you and other girls will find you slutty. Or that's at least what ballsy Beth told me when I wore a two-piece watermelon tankini to water aerobics over the summer. Beth is a wise, interesting, and cranky old owl so ima trust her. It's like how boys want to be the best on their sports team to show the rest of their teammates how strong and tough they are. It causes girls to chase after them the same way they chase after the girl they think is going to be the easiest. That is why I think we girls need to have more respect for ourselves and each other, so nobody gets themselves into a bad situation! I know that was long-winded, and lacking jokes, but I feel like it needed to be said.

To wrap up this article, I guess this hard 9 will have to accept most of my beauty will be on the inside in the eyes of Sassy Peanuts Fackelman, to which I am most definitely putting on my mailing list after this, I'm a big nerd and not afraid to show it, old ladies are the bomb. com, and the most important part, don't dress promiscuously to get attention.